Disappointment in Relationship

Being disappoint and being betrayed in a relationship is one of the toughest thing to deal with.It is one of the toughest thing the the earth.It’s not easy.But as the saying go “Life will go on…no matter what”.The truth is the pain caused by the disappointment or betrayal will leave a very big wound.But the wound will be healed by time one day.

We should not feel guilty or hate our self because we disappointed with someone.At the end we can’t control anyone action or decision.There is no point in sitting and worrying about what is already been happened.Being disappointed and keeping the grudge will only make our life more miserable and unhappy.

We should learn to be positive when we in disappointment state.Rather than blaming the situation we should learn from it.Everything happened for a reason.It’s just that we have to be in a ‘idle’ & ‘neutral’ state to evaluate the entire situation.The first step in bouncing back from disappointment is by completely forgive the person who hurt or betray you.You should be grateful its happen at this stage rather than later in your life.

Learn to let go.Sometime it’s better to let go rather than being in ‘complicated’ situations.Listen to your inner voice before you make any decision to let go.By learning to let go the person who betray you or the situation which disappoint you,you learn to accept the truth.Accepting the truth and situation is the key to be peace with yourself.

Learn some new things.Learning something new will occupy your time and mind.Learn some fun things that can bring happiness to your life.Learn to be in the moments.You can never change what is already happened.You can never change what is going to happen.But what is in your control is your present moments.Why waste such a precious present moments by being disappoint and blaming situations?

The key for you happiness is YOU.Only you can make yourself happy.Once you start to realise this,you will be more happy with your life.

Disappointment

Everyone in the world is hoping for the best.We want to get all that we desire.Everyone is chasing something and want to hold it in their hand.We want….

our love to be replied…..

to get promotion…..

to score good grade in exam…..

to have a wonderful family…..

to win the game…..

to be rich…..

to be appreciated……

If we ask the people around us to list down what they want in life;I'm very sure there will be no full stop for the list.Sometime we tend to set high expectation from the people we love or our own self.It’s just not possible every single things in the world work in our favor.So when thing doesn't work in our favor,we tend to get disappointed.

What is disappointment?

Disappointment is a feeling of dissatisfaction that follow after we fail to meet our own expectation.You will be disappointed if you can’t get the expected result or things doesn’t work as your way.

How disappointment affecting your life and others?

Disappointment often lead to stress and anxiety.When you disappointed,you feel hurt.When your expectation failed to manifest,you will be disappointed.This disappointment tend to destroy your belief and self confidence.This is because,you will immediately start to think you are not that good and starting find you weakness.You will blame yourself for not meeting your expectation or goals.Some even hurt them self if they disappointed.

Disappointment in relationship will affect your trust and integrity.Most of the marriage failed because he/she not able to fulfill their spouse expectation.We enter the marriage world with full of expectation,looking for Mr or Miss Perfect.When our spouse failed to fulfill our expectation,we tend to get hurt and disappointed.This lead to stress in a relationship and eventually ended in breakup.

Normally people tend to do something stupid when disappointed.Mostly people tend to engage in activities to divert their mind from disappointment.But some people tend to go for extreme level to cure their disappointment.This often happened in love.This group of people can become extreme if there don't get the person they love.They willing to kidnap or physically abusing people to show their disappointment.Sometime things can get worst than this.

How to overcome disappointment?

The ‘law of life’ is,things won’t always work in our favor.Sometime we will be disappointed.But we should learn from the disappointment and move forward.We should find a way to cure the disappointment and pursue happiness.

Robert Kiyosaki once said “The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way”.

Here are some ideas I have that might help you to walk through the time of disappointment.I hope you find them useful.

1.Calm down.Stop and calm down.Give yourself some time.Shift your attention from the thing that disappoint you.Things might not seem nearly to bad tomorrow.

2.Talk to your friends or family.If you are unhappy with your friends or family members,talk with them about it.Confront the problem.Use the proper word to explain your disappointment.Sometime it’s just a misunderstanding or misinterpretation.Maybe they won’t aware they has been hurt you or they did it unintentionally.By having a talk with your dearest people you can avoid your disappointment.Definitely they will seek for your forgiveness if they hurt you.What can be a better cure for a disappointed heart than a sincere apology from the one who disappointed us?

3.Expect less & give more.Don’t expect too much from the people you love.We all human and nobody is perfect.So accept people as who there are and give your best to them.The law is “what you give is what you get back”.Once you stop expecting too much from people,there will be no room for disappointment.BUT…BUT…..there is no life without expectation.So we have to learn to set right kind of expectation for our self and others.By setting the right kind of expectation you will find happiness and satisfaction.The real joy of life is giving and not receiving.Give your best to yourself and to others without expecting anything in return.That's the path of eternal happiness.

4.Surrender to god.In life,we may not always get what we want,we may not always get what we need but we get what we deserved because god always give us what is best for us.Learn to give your best in everything you do including your relationship.Leave the result to the god.

5.Learn from the experience.Think what you can learn from the experience.Find a way to do it better next time.Take disappointment as an opportunity to improve yourself.Believe that you can learn something from the disappointment and use it to create a new future.

5.Meditation.Do meditation every day.Meditation will help you to be more calm and focus.Meditation definitely a good medicine during the time of disappointment.It will help you to clear the anxiety and make you feel more relaxed.

6.Move on.You was disappointed.True.But what is the point to keep thinking the same thing over and over again.It’s not going to change anything.Your life is not going to end at the point where you disappointed.Accepting the disappointment with an open heart and moving forward in the life is the best thing you can do to cure your disappointed heart.Life is full of opportunity and happiness.It’s in your hand to grab it or not.

Hope this article can help the reader to handle disappointment in an effective way and help them find happiness in their life.

Cheers !

Maintaining Individuality in Love

Love often start with a beautiful node.Two people with a different style,attitude,and nature get attracted with each other and eventually fell for each other.But what make us to attracted to someone?To fell in love with someone?I’m sure there is plenty of reason.Maybe we like their sense of humor,their self-believe,confidence,calmness and the list goes on.We get attracted to someone and eventually fell in love with them because we find them unique.We find them different then all other people we met before.We started to like their uniqueness and individual characteristic.

But in the middle of the journey,we realized, “he is not the same person I used to love” or “She change ready.She is a different person now.I can’t relate myself with her”.

Why this is happening?

People often compromise or lose their sense of self in a relationship.In a relationship,one partner compromise everything and gives up a significant part of himself or herself to maintain the relationship.Some losing their individuality without realizing it.Why they letting them self to be sabotaged in a relationship? Fear of being alone is the main reason why some individual sacrifice part of their identity to keep the relationship alive.Fear of losing the person they love lead them to loose their own individuality.They have a misconception about love.They tend to believe compromising everything including our own identity is a key to everlasting happiness.

But the truth is,compromising and giving up yourself in a relationship will only be the temporary solution to maintain the relationship.In the long run,though,there is a price to be paid:unhappiness,dissatisfaction,and losing of individuality.How you can be happy if you compromise your own believe and dreams?

Entering a relationship is not only about the attraction and love,but more importantly about your believe,preference,boundaries,and dreams.When you enter into a relationship,it does not mean your life ‘before relationship’ stopped.You need to maintain your friendship,hobby,and interest that you had before you get into the relationship.All this things is your identity.This is who you are.Your unique characteristic and individuality is what attracted your partner.Losing your individuality means,you are going to lose your partner in nearby future. Losing individuality mean you are losing you self respect and dignity.

Reason for people sacrifice their individuality

Fear of being alone

Fear of being dumped or being alone lead people to compromise their value and individuality in a relationship.Sometime we tend to think,

“what if he/she didn’t agree with me?”

“will he/she will be upset if I disagree with them?”

“how if he/she dumped me?”

All this fear lead them to a stage where they compromise their identity and individuality.They prefer to losing their individuality than being alone.But the point is,they failed to realized losing your own individuality will eventually lead the relationship to a breakup stage.

Obsession

Some people tend to be too obsess with their partner.This also lead to self-compromising stage where you will not able to realized you are losing your identity to make the other person happier.You are sacrificing your dreams and expectation to make the other person happy.But the real happiness in a relationship is in where both the partners equally feel important and maintaining their own individuality.

The subtle surrender of self

This is the most common factor why people losing their individuality in a relationship.It is not as if people consciously decide to sacrifice themselves for the relationship. Over time, the integration of two lives take its toll and certain compromise are bound to happen.Example,maybe the husband/wife have to resign their job to take care of their new born baby.One need to give up their career goal while the other one pursuing their goals.This will eventually lead to bitterness at heart.

How to be in love and be happy without losing our own individuality?

The first step toward happiness in a relationship is to be honest with your feeling.Compromising your feeling lead to unhappiness.Be truthful with your feeling.We cant deny the fact that compromise is always necessary in maintaining a healthy relationship.But once you are truthful to your feeling,you will able to know when you can compromise and when you should stand for your believe.

You should learn to communicate rather than compromise.Rather than compromising and being unhappy,you should learn how to confront the issue with your partner to find a solution which can make both party happy.Explain you view and thoughts to your partner and always go for win-win situation.

There is some situation where you can compromise with you partner and make him/her happy without losing your own individuality and vice-versa.

Key for everlasting happiness

We all deserved to be loved and be happy in a relationship.It’s take effort from two people to make a relationship successful.Both should learn to compromise and respect your spouse/partner individuality.Finding the right balance in a relationship is the key for everlasting happiness.

Cheers!

Forgiveness

Sometime the people we love or care can hurt us unintentionally. It will be very hurtful. As an immediate reaction we tend to get very angry with the person who hurt us. Without our knowledge we will try to recall back all their past mistakes. These will multiply our anger towards that person. We will keep replaying their past mistake over and over until to a point where we will conclude they don’t deserves forgiveness. We won’t give them a chance to explain themselves and correct their mistakes. These wound can leave you with the feeling of anger and even vengeance.
It is really hurtful when you realized you have been betrayed. But keeping this anger deep inside will make things more difficult in our life. Sometime it’s better to forgive. What is forgiveness? In general forgiveness is a decision to let go the anger and the taught of revenge. By giving forgiveness we are letting go our burdens. Whenever we are in state of mind where we can’t forgive the person who hurt us, it’s recommended we take 1 or 2 day off from the current situation. Take a break from the problem. Give yourself a time to heal. During this break, try to view the problem from the other person point of view. Find out why they behave in such way. Maybe this will make the forgiving process easier.
By forgiving someone we are not doing them a favor. But we are helping our self to move on and stay healthy. Research shows by forgiving we are reducing our stress, lower the blood pressure, and reduce chronic pain. The truth is, by not forgiving somebody we are still stick at the same moment we are get hurt. We will keep replaying the incident until we genuinely forgive them. By not forgiving someone who is very close to us, we are loosing somebody who is very important in our life. Maybe the person who hurt you can be your husband, wife, close friends or family members. By not forgiving them, you are indirectly throwing them from your life. Its take years to build a relationship. Sometime it’s just not fair to let it go just because of one incident. By forgiving someone we give a second chance to the relationship. Some tend to think by forgiving we are forgetting what has happened and excusing it. Absolutely not! We can genuinely forgiving someone without excusing their act. At the same time, we can make sure the same kind of problem is not occurring in future. By doing so, we are not only saving a relationship, we also giving a chance for our self to love and to be loved. So let’s forget the past bitterness and genuinely forgive all those who hurts us. Let’s give them a chance to correct their mistake. Let give our self a chance to be happy.

Cheers!

How To Avoid Being Lonely & Stressful

Do you ever been lonely? Or been stress because of loneliness? Feeling lonely mean reaching a state of mind where we feel our life is empty and meaningless. When we are lonely, we tend to feel that we are not loved by people or there is no one there for us. But the truth is feeling lonely is purely based on our perspective of life.

Feeling lonely for a long period of time can cause some serious damages for our self. Some tend to kill their self because of loneliness. Most of us tend to go for anxiety pills or anti-depression pills as a solution for loneliness. But we all tend to forget none of this pill can be permanent solution for loneliness.

Feeling lonely is a state of mind and its doest have to be in this way. Here are few ways to overcome loneliness:

1.Get a pet-Get a dog/cat to occupy us will help us from being alone. Playing with our pet also will reduce our stress.
2.Take up a new hobby-Take up a new hobby. Do something that you enjoy doing like painting, reading, and playing snooker. Maybe you can try some adventures sport like mountain climbing, jungle tracking, hunting and so on.
3.Keep your mind occupied-By visualizing positive affirmation we can overcome loneliness. Find a activity which can excite you whenever you lonely.
4.Experiment with new things in life-Approaching a daily life in different perspective and doing the daily routine in different way is a good way to overcome loneliness.
5.Listen to music-Listen to your favorite music and recalling your sweet old memories also is a good way to overcome loneliness.
6.Meditation-Meditation keeps us focus and enjoys the nature and freedom of inner soul.
7.Join online community-Join online community like faceebook, friendster, and myspace. Getting introduced with different kind of people from all over the world and sharing your life with this new people will give a new meaning to your lonely life.
8.Call your friends-Call your friends and go out with your friends. Get involved in the activity that you enjoy doing with you friends.
9.Go out for a walk-Always remember. Feeling lonely is a state of mind. You can change it by just getting out of the situation. A simple walk can make you rejuvenated again.

Life is short. So we have to make sure we enjoyed every bit of it. There is no time for loneliness. Let’s make our life more interesting one.

Cheer!

Appreciation

“There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread” - Mother Teresa-

Everybody in this world hunger for appreciation. We all want to be appreciated by our family members, friends, loved ones, boss, and etc.It’s a wonderful motivation when our effort is being appreciated by people. When we give a genuine appreciation to someone we will not only make his/her day but we will help them to bring out the best out of them. A positive energy is created there when someone is being appreciated. So by appreciating someone we are not only helping them to be at their best, we also indirectly helping our self to give our best in everything we do. Learning how to appreciate every single thing that god has offered us is a key to increase fulfillment. Below is the few way of us showing our appreciation:

1. A simple ‘Thank You’ will do wonders in our relationship, career, and life .By saying ‘thank you’ we are telling people their effort is being appreciated. A simple ‘thank you’ from a boss will motivate the employee to give his best in his/her next assignment.
2. Call people using their real name-For everyone their name is the sweetest thing they can hear from someone mouth. By calling someone with their name (with proper pronunciation) you are showing them there are being appreciated and remembered. You are telling them there are VVIP.There are remembered.
2.’I Love You’ notes-Nothing can make our partners or beloved one happier than letting them know how much we appreciate them. Simple ‘I love you’ notes can add ‘extra sugar’ in a relationship.
3. The most IMPORTANT DAY in someone life is their birthday. A simple SMS on their birthday will let them know how much there are being appreciated.
4. Enjoy little things in life-Appreciation not only meaning appreciate people around us. We also can appreciate every little thing around us and came across our life. A little thing today can be a big thing tomorrow.

So, let’s start to appreciate everyone and everything in life and fill this world with love.

Cheers!

Few Things About Men's That Women's Should Know

Men are from mars,Women are from venus.Its true that men and women are two different species.Lets say we give a man and women one same problem,the way both the man and women look at the problem and the kind of solution they find for the problem will be totally diffrent most of the times.Men are normaly very straight with everything.So its not really hard for womens out there to understand their man's.Relationship between a man and women normally hit rock bottom when both fail to understand they partners.There are few thing about guys that women should know;to understand them better.



Here are few way to understand a man:



1.Approach him,ask him question & get the answer


A man prefer staright approach.If you want to know something,just ask him and get the answer.Isn't it very simple?If you keep thing in your mind and aspect him to understand what in your mind--->isn't it a bit wiered?so always confront him.talk to him;he will understand.


2.Let him be alone when he need to be alone


To make a relationship sucessfull both the partners should be spending some quality time together and have their own space to maintain their individuality.Sometime men need time to be alone to have a quiet moments for himself.A reltionship which maintain without loosing both person individualty will be more stronger.


3.Accept his family & friends


If you want to maintain your realtionship with him,then women should learn to accept her man's family and friends.Man need time to be with his friends.There are so many 'guys talk'...that man prefer to have with his friends.


4.Dont compare him with others


Man hate when his loved one comparing him with others,especially with his own friends.So dont compare your man with others.Accept him as who he is.He will aprreciate you more when he know you accept him as who he are.

5.Dont always give comments


Sometime man just need a listener.He dont need someone judge him.Sometime he just need to clear everything in his mind.So learn to be a good listener.Just listen quietlly.You will understand him more.


6.Mens are sensitive too


Man are sensitive too.Beleive me.It's true.So think before speak.Respect him.Dont ever envoke his man's pride and ego.It's very dangerous for a relationship.


7.Pass the remote control to HIM


Man & remote control are best friends.Let him be with his BF & he will love you more.