Maintaining Individuality in Love

Love often start with a beautiful node.Two people with a different style,attitude,and nature get attracted with each other and eventually fell for each other.But what make us to attracted to someone?To fell in love with someone?I’m sure there is plenty of reason.Maybe we like their sense of humor,their self-believe,confidence,calmness and the list goes on.We get attracted to someone and eventually fell in love with them because we find them unique.We find them different then all other people we met before.We started to like their uniqueness and individual characteristic.

But in the middle of the journey,we realized, “he is not the same person I used to love” or “She change ready.She is a different person now.I can’t relate myself with her”.

Why this is happening?

People often compromise or lose their sense of self in a relationship.In a relationship,one partner compromise everything and gives up a significant part of himself or herself to maintain the relationship.Some losing their individuality without realizing it.Why they letting them self to be sabotaged in a relationship? Fear of being alone is the main reason why some individual sacrifice part of their identity to keep the relationship alive.Fear of losing the person they love lead them to loose their own individuality.They have a misconception about love.They tend to believe compromising everything including our own identity is a key to everlasting happiness.

But the truth is,compromising and giving up yourself in a relationship will only be the temporary solution to maintain the relationship.In the long run,though,there is a price to be paid:unhappiness,dissatisfaction,and losing of individuality.How you can be happy if you compromise your own believe and dreams?

Entering a relationship is not only about the attraction and love,but more importantly about your believe,preference,boundaries,and dreams.When you enter into a relationship,it does not mean your life ‘before relationship’ stopped.You need to maintain your friendship,hobby,and interest that you had before you get into the relationship.All this things is your identity.This is who you are.Your unique characteristic and individuality is what attracted your partner.Losing your individuality means,you are going to lose your partner in nearby future. Losing individuality mean you are losing you self respect and dignity.

Reason for people sacrifice their individuality

Fear of being alone

Fear of being dumped or being alone lead people to compromise their value and individuality in a relationship.Sometime we tend to think,

“what if he/she didn’t agree with me?”

“will he/she will be upset if I disagree with them?”

“how if he/she dumped me?”

All this fear lead them to a stage where they compromise their identity and individuality.They prefer to losing their individuality than being alone.But the point is,they failed to realized losing your own individuality will eventually lead the relationship to a breakup stage.

Obsession

Some people tend to be too obsess with their partner.This also lead to self-compromising stage where you will not able to realized you are losing your identity to make the other person happier.You are sacrificing your dreams and expectation to make the other person happy.But the real happiness in a relationship is in where both the partners equally feel important and maintaining their own individuality.

The subtle surrender of self

This is the most common factor why people losing their individuality in a relationship.It is not as if people consciously decide to sacrifice themselves for the relationship. Over time, the integration of two lives take its toll and certain compromise are bound to happen.Example,maybe the husband/wife have to resign their job to take care of their new born baby.One need to give up their career goal while the other one pursuing their goals.This will eventually lead to bitterness at heart.

How to be in love and be happy without losing our own individuality?

The first step toward happiness in a relationship is to be honest with your feeling.Compromising your feeling lead to unhappiness.Be truthful with your feeling.We cant deny the fact that compromise is always necessary in maintaining a healthy relationship.But once you are truthful to your feeling,you will able to know when you can compromise and when you should stand for your believe.

You should learn to communicate rather than compromise.Rather than compromising and being unhappy,you should learn how to confront the issue with your partner to find a solution which can make both party happy.Explain you view and thoughts to your partner and always go for win-win situation.

There is some situation where you can compromise with you partner and make him/her happy without losing your own individuality and vice-versa.

Key for everlasting happiness

We all deserved to be loved and be happy in a relationship.It’s take effort from two people to make a relationship successful.Both should learn to compromise and respect your spouse/partner individuality.Finding the right balance in a relationship is the key for everlasting happiness.

Cheers!